In a perfect world, we would all live in sitcom-level neighborhoods with perfectly groomed lawns, picture-perfect houses, and most importantly, friendly neighbors who you actually want to run into when you’re taking your dog on a walk.
While some people are lucky enough to have neighbors who lend a helping hand — or a spoonful of sugar — in a heartbeat, a LOL-worthy Reddit thread proves that’s not always the case.
No matter where your neighbors fall on the scale of horror, these neighborhood nightmares (prepare to cringe) may make the oddball who lives next door seem, well, normal — and that’s really saying something. See where your neighbor stack up and (hopefully) get a good laugh from these stories straight from Reddit.
The Cat Lady
Thanks to Reddit user Throwawayca91’s third-floor neighbor, the entire apartment building had an unpleasant aroma of — wait for it — cat pee. After complaining to the building’s office for two years straight, Throwawayca91 called animal control officials — who found 30 cats in the woman’s apartment.
The Pet Poisoner
At a standard vet visit, the vet advised Ireallyjustcanteven to stop feeding the dog “human food,” which confused them since they only fed their dog a strict dog food-only diet. Turns out, the neighbor, who regularly called the police about the white labrador’s behavior (which was “very sweet” and “wasn’t very aggressive at all”), was feeding it food scraps, mop water, and other harmful things over the fence.
The Skunk Lady
Reddit user Annepackrat writes that an old neighbor used to feed local skunks, and the smelly animals would hang around their apartment building as a result. “My then-boyfriend used to have to carry a flashlight to avoid startling one and getting a faceful of stink,” the Reddit user writes.
When Reddit user sborado was young, a neighbor built a deck that crossed into their yard. The user’s family ultimately had to get the city involved to force the neighbor to make the deck smaller, which he didn’t like one bit.
When the user’s family came back from vacation, they found a sign on the neighbor’s fence that said, “Peekaboo, I see you.” — and a collection of new security cameras pointed into their yard.
The Negligent Dog Owner
Every year, Reddit user sackofmangoes’s parents would have to pay to replace the fence between their yard and the neighbor’s yard, since the neighbor’s dogs would completely destroy it.
And even though the fence was shared property, the neighbor would refuse to split the cost. It wasn’t until a branch from the neighbor’s large tree (which sackofmangoes’s family had asked her to take down) killed her pet boxer that the femce damage stopped.
The Not-so-Secret Agent
Constantly suspicious of the other tenants, Reddit user RamsesThePigeon’s neighbor would stage loud phone calls with “FBI headquarters” about their “alarming behavior.” (Think: the fact that they came home after 9 p.m.).
She even went so far as to post a fake U.S. government notice on the walls of the building, and it wasn’t until the user staged a phone call about the illegality of the neighbor’s FBI impersonation that the harassment stopped.
The Lazy Lawnmower
Reddit user LitlThisLitlThat’s former neighbor never did any yard work. When the user couldn’t stand the out-of-control grass growth any longer, they began cutting the grass in his front lawn for him. (He let the grass in his backyard grow to be six feet tall, the user writes, which resulted in tons of mosquitoes that swarmed neighboring yards on wet days.)
So, how did he repay his neighbors for the favor? “At one point he was stealing our water, which drove up to our water bill,” LitlThisLitlThat writes.