“Hopefully, you’re not getting married or thinking about long-term commitment before you’ve talked about future goals,” Syrtash said. Discussion topics should include kids, religion, and finances. “If you feel that you’ve talked through significant future goals together and you’re aligned, that’s also a good sign.”
Karl Pillemer, a professor of human development at Cornell University, spoke with a series of older Americans for his book “30 Lessons for Loving” and learned about the importance of shared values. One 86-year-old man told Pillemer that it’s important to find out from your partner: “What do they care about? How do they think about the world? What matters to them?”
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