These Signs Prove That You Were Born in the Wrong Decade

All Your Clothes Come from Vintage Stores

If you’re a woman, you’ve got hoop earrings from the ’70s, an A-line dress from the ’50s, a glamorous ball gown, and maybe even a mink coat (“It’s not wrong if it’s vintage,” you tell your animal activist friends). If you’re a guy, you know that suspenders are way sexier than belts, and you’ve got a wool waistcoat, a collection of cravats, and way too many Italian leather shoes.

If you’re a woman, you secretly wish you could wear a bonnet, but settle for an egregiously large hat that you insist is totally practical because it blocks out the sun. If you’re a man, you have a collection of hats that you desperately try to pair with jeans and a T-shirt so you don’t look like you stepped out of a time machine. You have to strike the delicate balance between looking like you wouldn’t be out-of-place in a photo from your favorite era without also resembling someone who just wandered out of a costume party.