They make the emotion an object instead of owning it as a feeling
If you’re emotionally available, you can talk about your emotions as something that you’re actively feeling. If your partner is not emotionally available, that might be something with which they have some problems. “So instead of saying ‘I feel angry’ or ‘hurt’ or ‘sad,’ they talk making the emotion an object,” Sultanoff said.
“For example, they say ‘my frustration’ or ‘the anger’ or ‘the disappointment I feel.'” So when someone does that, they are separating themselves from their emotional being and that makes them less able to connect with others emotionally.”
It can be a subtle difference, but pushing their own emotions away doesn’t help the bond between the two of you either.
