WE CELEBRATE BINGE EATING
Thanksgiving Day is supposedly about being thankful (uh-huh, sure), but any red blooded American knows it’s all about stuffing your face with delicious holiday food. There may be other festivities happening that day (like football and stuff), but the starring attraction of any Thanksgiving celebration is the meal and our insistence on eating until we’re about to pop (then waiting an hour and having some pie).
TURKEY TROTS
To make ourselves feel better about stuffing our faces on Thanksgiving, Americans created another holiday tradition: the Turkey Trot. These early Thanksgiving Day races are anywhere from 3.1 miles to the full 26.2-mile marathon, depending on how badly we want to torture ourselves. Sometimes they’re to support charity, but mostly, they’re there to give us an excuse to eat for the remainder of the day.
PRESIDENTIAL TURKEY PARDONS
In 1863, President Abraham Lincoln reportedly gave a turkey who was destined for the dinner table clemency, setting the foundation for the annual tradition of the Presidential Turkey Pardon. Although the formalized ceremony didn’t take root until 1989 with President George H. W. Bush., it’s become one of the most unique American traditions to come out of the White House.
AFTER-HOLIDAY SHOPPING
Black Friday and Cyber Monday have one thing in common: They’re national shopping spree days where Americans display their worst behavior, all in the name of greed. The tradition of staying up all night to fight off fellow shoppers who swarm around retail items in a frenzied celebration of capitalism is, admittedly, pretty terrible. But, have you seen some retailer’s door prizes? Totally worth it.
CHRISTMAS DECOR
Americans are obsessed with holiday decor, and it takes on a life of its own every Christmas season. Not only do we have a tradition of trimming a tree with all manner of gaudy lights, decorations and tinsel, but we deck the halls and doorways, inflate giant flashing (and sometimes moving) characters on our lawns and wrap our homes in electricity-hogging light displays, all to show our overwhelming Christmas spirit. It’s a weird tradition, but admit it, it’s totally wonderful.
